The Reunion

by Brad Brubaker

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about

WATCH THE VIDEO FOR "GOSNOLD'S HOPE PARK":
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqCxz9mYd98

The Reunion revisits songs written during late high school and early college. It includes a few new pieces that reflect on that time and the person that serves as the songs’ subject. Both “Magnificent” and “Lesbi-anne Can’t Love Me” were written for my first band, Persona Non Grata. The former is a surviving recording from that time, engineered by Carl Berger.

credits

released February 7, 2014

All songs ©2013 Brad Brubaker, except “It’s Not You, It’s Me,” written by Joel Reader and originally recorded by The Plus-Ones (2002 Equals Two Music, BMI). Used with permission.

Engineered by Dave Watkins in Richmond, VA.
Recorded during three days in June 2009.
CD Design by Candice Conner.

Thanks to Carl Berger, Zach Bragg, David Boren, Brian & Beth Brubaker, Craig & Terry Brubaker, Joel Reader, Candice & Logan Conner, Brian Curtis, Andrew Heil, Jacob Satterfield, Richmond Ballet and Dave Watkins.


Dedicated to James Germain, my artistic accomplice, the first person to hear most of these songs, the person who gave “Magnificent” its name. May we have many more decades writing songs about youth and heartbreak.

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about

Brad Brubaker Chicago, Illinois

Brad Brubaker & The Crowd Goes Wild brings together the richness of acoustic music, the charm of alt-country and the energy of melodic punk. Whether playing distorted power chords or fingerpicking crisply, the songs whiz past and make the listener wonder what hit 'em. With witty and relatable lyrics, performances offer neurotic sincerity, balancing humor with darkness. ... more

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Track Name: Pattern of My Life
Pattern of My Life
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

She said “I am so sorry and I mean it too
I never again could have the heart to hurt you
Can you see the pain that’s living in my eyes?
I know your pain’s greater cuz you were trusting lies”

The pattern of my life; The pattern that I’ve faced
I’m constantly reminded of how easily I’m replaced

“It started as a joke but now no one is laughing
If I could have one wish I’d stop this all from happening
I want another chance I won’t screw this one up
I’d tear my life in two for you...
That’s exactly what I’ll do”

The pattern of my life; The pattern that I’ve faced
I’m constantly reminded of how easily I’m replaced

But you tell me you’ll never leave me
And tell me that you love me, too
Are there any girls still out there
That won’t hurt a heart like mine...?

Maybe you’ll be the change in my life
Maybe you’ll be the change I need
Maybe you’ll be the change in my life
Track Name: Magnificent
"Magnificent"
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

I wasn’t sure what you were thinking
So alright here’s the deal
With your head resting on my shoulder
I wanted it to be for real
And I am quite aware of all the troubles
I could get myself in
But I felt a certain comfort
With my arm around you then

I’ve received the rumors and the warnings
Telling of the girl they think you are
That’s your cover not your heart

“She smiles cuz nothing hurts her
That won’t hurt you more.”
“Your fear’s where her control is.”
Yeah, I’ve heard it all before

What’s the world’s “deception,”
Besides a lonely soul?
That’s not my perception
You’ve filled a gaping hole

What exactly is a broken promise?
A kind of lie; not doing what you say
You’ve broken one today

I’m convinced it was my choices
That made things how they are
I got a little blinded
By you, my shining star

I still think the world of me
But you’re the universe
It’s just a misunderstanding
The two of us at out worst

Never again, will I go in search of you
I won’t stay home afraid I’ll miss your call
If come back I won’t crawl

I’m not waiting for apologies
They never did me any good
Coming from others they never mean
Quite as much as they should
But we’ll always have the memories
They used to get me by
Something might spark a thought of you
And those sparks will set a fire

And this is not the first time that I’ve cursed your name
Or the first time that you’ve lead me on
This leading on is merely leading me astray
I regret all that I’ve written
I regret all that I’ve said
It just tells me that we’re not meant to be
And this is not the first time
That I’ve known this simple fact
Cuz all that comfort is
Is when I can’t feel you stab my back
Track Name: Gosnold's Hope Park
Gosnold's Hope Park
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

How long has it been?
I could tell you to the day
Since I moved on with my life
And put the piece that's you away...

Only one of us to blame...

I gotta little black book with little black letters
Where I write names and addresses of friends
But there's one little name in that little black book
That I shouldn't have written in pen
Cuz a conscientious effort is being made
To wipe every last trace of you
Still a part of me just ain't letting go
I got 21 songs of proof

Lost your number, not your name...

How long has it been?
I could tell you to the day
How long has it been?
Track Name: Scent on My Clothes (explicit)
Scent on My Clothes
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

One, two, three times I hugged you today
And I’ve noticed if I’m sitting in just the right way
I can smell you on my jacket or my shirt as I sit
Listening to this girl who wants to shoot the shit

But every time I lose it—this position I’ve found—
My mind can’t make sense of her collective sounds
Cuz all of my attention has gone straight my nose
As I try to find your scent on my clothes
Track Name: Lesbi-Anne Can't Love Me
Lesbi-Anne Can't Love Me
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

It’s okay if you’re gay
If you go after other homos
I’ll stick to hetero girls…

So I lied
I went for a lesbian this time
She said she’d always really felt this way
And that she’d taken a big step today
And as it turned out I was the
First to be told her sexuality

She’s a lesbian, she ain’t no dyke
Next time you better get it right
Oh, Leslie Anne, my little lesbian
You can’t even love a boy like me?

She wears her “I killed Liza and Louise” shirt
She can’t fathom how I’m hurt
When Leslie Anne has always felt this way
And when she took a giant step that day
And as it turned out I was the first
To be told her sexuality…I’m cursed

By telling me exactly what did you expect?
I can’t just tell my heart to stop being erect
Oh, Leslie Anne, my little lesbian
You can’t even love a boy like me?

She asked me then if I could say
Exactly where it is I’d rate
On a hundred through one sexual scale
One hundred being all-out gay
Zero being hetero always
I’d never really thought it out this way

I told her I could not answer
Cuz I’d lying to myself or her
If I did because I just can’t see
But her question have destroyed me
Oh, Leslie Anne, my little lesbian
You can’t even love a boy like me?

If experimenting’s what you want
Experimenting’s what you’ll get
If that is what it really takes
If that is what it takes to rate
A lower score on your gay chart
And a chance for me to win your heart
Track Name: No Second Chance
No Second Chance
© Brad Brubaker

If I could forgive and forget
I’d forgive you for the day we met
And I’ll tell you what else I would do
I’d forget that I ever knew you

It doesn’t matter that I’ve changed
Because I would have anyway
Live my life and love to live
Now or then, I always did

You didn’t make me so how could you break me
Stop treating me like I’m your little toy
Cuz I’m a lot bigger and I break a lot harder
Your brand new challenge to destroy
What pieces you smash to the ground
Will cut you, scratch you, take you down
You lost your second chance
The first time around

And I’d never have to think how life has changed without you
If I never saw your lying eyes
Life wouldn’t be measured in terms of you
And I wouldn’t think of things we used to do
Cuz we never woulda done ‘em, said hello, or said goodbye

Look at me, what do you see? A self-made man
At least as much as one can be these days
So don’t take pride in what you’ve taken
It won’t be long ‘fore you awaken
And see that you were just a passing phase

You didn’t make me so how could you break me
Stop treating me like I’m your little toy
Cuz I’m a lot bigger and I break a lot harder
Your brand new challenge to destroy
What pieces you smash to the ground
Will cut you, scratch you, take you down
You lost your second chance
The first time around

You can’t take anything from me I haven’t given you
But I gave you my love (I gave you my love)
And you ate it up (You ate it up)
But I don’t feel like I’ve been had
It’s not like love can turn around and become bad
Besides there’s always more where that came from
Though not for you

You didn’t make me so how could you break me
Stop treating me like I’m your little toy
Cuz I’m a lot bigger and I break a lot harder
Your brand new challenge to destroy
What pieces you smash to the ground
Will cut you, scratch you, take you down
You might plead but I won’t glance
You get no flippin’ second chance
What pieces you smash to the ground
Will cut you, scratch you, take you down
You lost your second chance
The first time around

If I could forgive and forget
I’d forgive you for the day we met
And I’ll tell you what else I would do
I’d forget that I ever knew you
Track Name: Battle of the Ironclads (explicit)
(This song contains explicit content.)
Track Name: The Reunion
"Well, just like always, I guess, it’s the thoughtlessness that counted."
Track Name: A Toast to Absent Friends
© Brad Brubaker

Whether now or then
Or things that have not been
Through every what, where, when
One “why” will remain true
Let it now be known
Be etched into the stone
That I have surely grown
From all my time with you
Track Name: Reprise
Reprise
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

They say
It’s hard to face
When you outgrow a friend

Expect…
And accept…
The easier it will end

Well, who’s “they”
Anyway?
“They” never knew my life and times

I know
We’ll grow
Reason must balance the rhyme
Track Name: Frost in Hampton
Frost in Hampton
(AKA Hampton in Winter)
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

I loved you once, but not anymore
When I’m home for holidays I wanna knock on your door
Or write you a letter…A postcard or two…
I loved you once and I miss you

Whatever happened to the girl I once knew?
Sexy, adventurous…a bit scary, too
The bad girl the boys want, but they haven’t a clue…
I loved you once and I miss you

I loved you once…way back, back when
I still think about you now and again
I think I might call you, but I never do…
I loved you once and I…
Track Name: Youth & Heartbreak
Youth & Heartbreak
© 2013 Brad Brubaker

1.
We were 16, living in a dream:
The weasel screeched and the days were green.
Had trouble with girls--man, we always did.
Sometimes it really sucks to be a kid.
We were best friends and played in a band--
Never got a bassist liked we planned.
I sang my heart out, you played guitar,
Heil played drums in Carl's backyard.

And the future can be whatever we make…
'Til then we'll write songs about youth and heartbreak.

2.
We moved to a city so far from home.
So many people, but we feel alone.
Dead-end job and living in a rut.
Girls used to be mean, but now they're nuts.
We work so hard but we're losing steam,
Still we're trying to live our dream,
But I lose hope with every risk I take.
This is my life at 28.

When life feels like a series of mistakes
We write another song about youth and heartbreak.

We sang:
"Life may not be fair...
No one ever cared..."

Wish I could be sixteen again
Wish I could be sixteen again
Things were much easier back then
Back when...
Wasn't me who had to pay the rent
Spent all my time with my best friend
Wish I could be sixteen again
Wish I could be sixteen again

3.
I got married, had a couple of kids,
Got a full time job in the theatre biz.
You're playing your songs all over the states.
Everything we dreamed when we were 28.
Now we talk every month or so:
I say, "I heard your song on the radio."
You say, "I'll try to make it out to see your play."
All of our lives lead to this day.

Yeah, now we're 40 and life is great,
But we still write songs about youth and heartbreak.

We sang:
"Life may not be fair...
No one ever cared..."